Face like a smashed crab
A face that looks like it was hit by a truck and then stepped on by a donkey. It’s so bad it could make a saint swear.
My aunt’s face is like a smashed crab, and she still thinks she’s the best at poker.
My dog’s face is like a smashed crab, and I’m thinking about adopting a new dog.
My boss’s face is like a smashed crab, and I don’t want to get promoted.