Face Keg
A 5-liter Heineken or Newcastle mini-keg that you claim you're going to drink all by yourself, even though you’re clearly just trying to avoid getting called out for being a drunk mess.
DM: 'I got the face keg. No one is touching me. I'm not even gonna look at you.'
Tweet: 'Face keg = 5 liters of hope, 0 liters of self-control.'
Text: 'I bought the face keg. I swear I'm not gonna eat the whole thing. I'm not.'