face diaper - A cloth that covers your face, and also your brain, because

A cloth that covers your face, and also your brain, because you’re too dumb to realize it’s not doing anything.

My face diaper is so ugly, it makes me look like a raccoon with a sock on its face.

My face diaper is so tight, it’s like I’m trying to choke myself.

I wear a face diaper because I think it’s gonna stop me from breathing in my own stupidity.