Fabric softener kid
A fabric softener kid is a kid who is so clueless, you feel bad for them, but you also want to punch them in the face for being so stupid in public.
He tried to climb the stairs like they were a slide. Fabric softener kid, for sure.
She told the teacher that the sky was green because her crayon ran out. Fabric softener kid, no lie.
He yelled ‘I’m a ninja’ and ran into a door. Fabric softener kid, baby.