fabarm

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A clueless, brainless, god-hating, loudmouth Republican who thinks they’re smart just because they’re rich.

"I’m not a moron, I’m a fabarm!", said by a man who still uses a flip phone.

"He tried to explain the theory of gravity. It was like watching a toddler try to tie a shoelace.", his wife.

"He ran for office because he heard the word 'free' and thought it was a compliment.", his campaign manager.

A republican who thinks the sky is green, the moon is made of cheese, and the president is the only person who can fix the world.

"I believe in the sky being green because I saw it on a meme.", said by a fabarm who still uses a flip phone.

"He tried to explain the moon to his kid. The kid asked if it was a cheese wheel.", his kid.

"He thinks the president can fix the world because he once saw a tweet that said 'fix the world' and thought it was a challenge.", his friend.

A republican who thinks the whole world is against them, and the only way to win is to yell really loud and throw confetti.

"They’re out to get me! I can feel it!", shouted by a fabarm who just got a ticket for yelling at a traffic light.

"He yelled so loud at a meeting that the walls started to shake.", his coworker.

"He threw confetti at a dog because it wouldn’t stop barking.", his neighbor.

A republican who thinks they’re a genius just because they can read a newspaper and still believe everything in it.

"I read the newspaper, so I must be smart. I’m a genius.", said by a fabarm who still uses a flip phone.

"He read the newspaper and thought the world was ending. He tried to call the president to save it.", his friend.

"He tried to explain the newspaper to his kid. The kid asked if it was a magic book.", his kid.

A republican who thinks the only way to be happy is to have a lot of money and yell at the sky.

"The sky is angry at me! I need to yell back!", shouted by a fabarm who still uses a flip phone.

"He yelled at the sky so loud that the clouds moved.", his neighbor.

"He tried to yell at the sky to make it rain. It rained. He thought it was a conspiracy.", his friend.

A republican who thinks they’re the only one who can save the world and they need a lot of confetti to make it happen.

"I can save the world! I just need confetti and a loud voice.", said by a fabarm who still uses a flip phone.

"He threw confetti in the air and yelled, ‘The world is saved!’ The confetti fell on his boss.", his coworker.

"He tried to save the world with confetti. It didn’t work, but he still thinks he’s a hero.", his kid.