Faamoana
This guy is like a saint, but also a total diva. He'll protect your family like they're his last bit of hope, but he'll argue over the best pizza toppings for hours. He's got the body of a beast and the brain of someone who forgets their own name.
'You think I let my brother eat the last slice? No. I let him eat the last slice and I let him forget about it.'
'I could bench-press your whole family. But I still don't know what sport I'm rooting for.'
'I'm not picky. I'm just very specific about what I want.'