f-unlucky - A word you use when someone is so unlucky it's like the univ

A word you use when someone is so unlucky it's like the universe is mad at them, but they're still cool.

'You're f-unlucky, I just saw your cat fall into a toilet.'

Friend: 'I'm f-unlucky, I got locked out of my house and my keys are in my dog's stomach.'

Sis: 'You're f-unlucky, your lunch got stolen by a squirrel.'