ebert

Fresh Trending

1 views · Added 4d ago · 7 definitions

1
A last name that’s so bad, it’s like having a nickname from a French guy who can’t spell. Also called ebea, like someone who tried to Frenchify it and failed.
My cousin’s name is Ebert, and he’s like a French kid who couldn’t finish his alphabet.
I told my teacher my last name was Ebert, and she said, 'That’s not a name, that’s a typo.'
My dog’s name is Ebea, and he barks like he’s trying to sound fancy.
2
A tiny blue monster that lives under a kitchen table and gets worshipped by Italians who are tall enough to reach the ceiling.
I saw a tiny blue creature under the table and started praying to it like it was a god.
My uncle said he saw Ebert and started offering pizza to the table.
I told my mom I saw a blue creature under the kitchen table, and she said, 'That’s not a creature, that’s a sign you need more sleep.'
3
A tough guy who has a brain the size of a melon and a body that could beat up a bull. He’s the kind of guy who laughs at your jokes and still thinks you’re cool.
Ebert is the kind of guy who could beat up a bull and still have time to laugh at your jokes.
My neighbor said Ebert was tough, and I believed him when he beat up my dad.
I asked Ebert if he had a sense of humor, and he said, 'I have a sense of humor, and I have a brain the size of a melon.'
4
A film critic who teamed up with Gene Siskel to give movies thumbs up or thumbs down. Siskel died young, and now Ebert is stuck with a guy named Roeper who’s not as good.
Ebert and Siskel gave movies thumbs up or down, but Siskel died before Roeper could learn how to give good reviews.
I asked Ebert why he worked with Roeper, and he said, 'He’s not as good, but he’s not bad either.'
Roeper is like the backup singer of film reviews, and Ebert is the main guy.
5
A movie critic so famous, people think he could take down the whole universe with just his chin. Scientists are scared he might end the world with his regular visits to Jay Leno.
Ebert’s chin is so strong, it could beat up the whole universe.
Scientists say if Ebert and Jay Leno’s chins ever met, it would cause an explosion that could destroy the world.
I asked Ebert if he could take down the universe, and he said, 'I could, but I’d rather just beat up Jay Leno.'
6
A movie critic who hates video games so much, he thinks they’re just kids playing with toys. He’s like the grumpy uncle of the gaming world.
Ebert said video games aren’t art, and I thought he was just being grumpy.
I asked Ebert why he hates video games, and he said, 'They’re just kids playing with toys.'
Ebert is like the grumpy uncle of the gaming world who doesn’t know what a controller is.
7
A standing 69 that’s so bad, you give it two thumbs down, and you also stick your finger up the other guy’s butt because you’re that annoyed.
I tried the Ebert and it was so bad, I gave it two thumbs down and stuck my finger up my friend’s butt.
The Ebert is when you’re so bored, you just give it two thumbs down and stick your finger up the other guy’s butt.
I told my friend I was doing the Ebert, and he said, 'That’s not a move, that’s a punishment.'
xs