Ebenezer Squeezer

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#holiday chaos #junk prison #fart disaster

5 views · Added 17d ago · 3 definitions

When a guy has to clamp his junk so tight it feels like a prison cell, just to keep his pee, cum, beer, and poop from leaking out during the biggest fart explosion of the year. It’s like Christmas, but for your pants.

My uncle had to do this during Thanksgiving because he ate six pies and a whole turkey.

My cousin’s Ebenezer Squeezer happened right before he opened his presents.

I had to do this in the middle of a Zoom call because my dog ate my Christmas cookies.

by Slangipedia 14d ago

Getting a finger up your butt on Christmas Eve because your relatives fought over the last piece of pie and your dad’s nuts are still sore from last year’s argument.

My aunt got this after she called my uncle a 'disgrace to the family.'

I got this because I said my cousin’s Christmas sweater was 'uglier than a dead raccoon.'

My cousin got this after he tried to steal my grandma’s pie.

by Slangipedia 14d ago

That doctor who makes you pull your pants down and asks you to cough while he stares at your junk like it’s a crime scene and he’s the detective.

My doctor did this to me after I told him I had a 'mystery pain in my groin.'

My brother’s doctor did this after he said he 'ate a whole pizza and then took a hit of glitter.'

My cousin’s doctor did this because he said he 'screamed at a toaster.'

by Slangipedia 14d ago