eBay Stalker
Someone who stares at your eBay feedback like it's a crime scene, trying to figure out what you're hiding from your mom.
He saw I bought a 'disguise kit' and a 'dog costume.' He thinks I'm a lunatic.
She noticed I bought 12 'mystery meat' boxes. She's calling me a monster.
He saw I bought 'face paint' and a 'ninja hat.' He thinks I'm a kid.