eBay it

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1 views · Added 5d ago · 7 definitions

1
When you either buy or sell something on eBay, like a used sock or a brand new car, but you still have no idea why you bother.
I sold my mom's old wedding ring for $5 and got charged $10 for the listing. What even is life?
I bought a toaster that looked like it was from the 80s for $2 and now it’s smoking. Thanks, eBay.
I sold my pet goldfish for $3 and now it’s living in a hotel room. What the hell?
2
Getting royally fucked by eBay because you paid for listing fees, percentages, and shipping costs that made you want to quit life.
I listed my old TV for $10 and ended up paying $30 in fees. I might as well have just kept it.
I sold my dog for $50 and got charged $20 in fees. My dog's richer than me now.
I listed my old phone for $20 and got charged $25. I'm poorer than a broke student.
3
A place where you can spend $1 on a $30 toaster and then get charged $29 for shipping like it’s a luxury.
I bought a $30 toaster for $1 and now I’m paying $29 for shipping. I’ve got a $30 toaster and a $29 shipping bill. What is this madness?
I bought a $25 lamp for $2 and now I’m paying $23 in shipping. I’ve got a lamp and a broken heart.
I bought a $100 phone for $10 and got charged $90 in shipping. I might as well just live in the post office.
4
Like a yard sale but for the whole internet, and it's mostly just people trying to get rid of stuff they don’t want.
My neighbor had a yard sale and I had an eBay yard sale and I sold my entire life for $10.
I had a yard sale on eBay and sold my mom’s old couch for $5. She’s happy, I’m broke.
My yard sale was on eBay and I sold my childhood memories for $2. I’m sad and broke.
5
A place where you can find almost anything for super cheap, like a graphics card for $40 instead of $300, but then you get charged $5 for shipping.
I bought a graphics card for $40 and got charged $5 for shipping. I might as well have bought it from the future.
I found a PS5 for $100 instead of $500. Then I got charged $20 for shipping. What even is life?
I found a brand new TV for $150 and got charged $25 for shipping. I got a TV and a broken wallet.
6
The only place where you can sell your soul and get $20 for it, like you’re just another used item.
I sold my soul on eBay for $20. It was worth it. I got a little money and now I have a soul deficit.
I sold my soul for $10 and now I have to pay $5 in fees. I’m soul poor.
I sold my soul for $25 and now I have to pay $10 in fees. I’m soul broke.
7
A website where you can sell stuff, but they’re so cheap they don’t want to let you sell for free, and if you sell too much, they shut you down like you’re a threat.
I sold 100 items on eBay and they shut me down. I was just trying to make money and now I’m banned.
I sold 50 items and got a message that said, 'You’re too good at this. We’re banning you.'
I sold 30 items and got a warning. I’m a threat to eBay’s business model. I didn’t even know I was that good.
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