Eating hummus
When teens lie about having loud gay sex by saying they were eating hummus like it was a goddamn Olympic sport
'Mom, I was just eating hummus!' 'I believe you, dear.' 'I believe you, dear.'
DM: 'I was just eating hummus, I swear!' 'You’re still alive? I believed you.'
Text from dad: 'I heard loud noises and hummus. You’re both dead.'