Eathin
He’s the boy who’ll love you no matter how dumb you are. He’s got a mouth like a dragon and will roast you until you’re crying. He eats spicy food like it's nothing and will laugh at you when you can't take it. He’s got a butt that’s full of magic and it’s so big it's legendary. He’ll insult anyone and everyone, even your mom.
He called me a dumb cow and then told me I was the best friend he ever had.
He ate a whole burrito and then laughed when his butt exploded.
He told my mom she was a fat pig and then hugged her.