She said she was in love with her best friend. I said, 'That’s not love. That’s a love triangle with a side of confusion.'

My coworker told me she was dating her boss. I said, 'That’s not a relationship. That’s a relationship with a side of drama.'

I walked in on my sister crying in the kitchen. She said, 'I just got dumped by my girlfriend and my mom.' I said, 'That’s not a double dump. That’s a triple dump.'