Eatapuss Syndrome
A woman’s habit of using another woman to feel better about herself, even if it ends in tears and a bad haircut.
She told me she broke up with her girlfriend because she was tired of her being a drama queen. I said, 'That’s not a drama queen. That’s a drama queen with a side of drama.'
I walked in on my friend crying in the bathroom. She said, 'I just got dumped by my girlfriend and my mom.' I said, 'That’s not a double dump. That’s a triple dump.'
He asked me why I was so happy. I said, 'Because my ex got dumped by my best friend.' He said, 'That’s not a happy ending. That’s a messy ending.'