Eat the apple

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6 views · Added 16d ago · 7 definitions

When someone does something so godawful and unforgivable that they might as well be wearing a suit made of hellfire.

My boss said I could leave early if I cleaned his office. I did. Then he yelled at me for 3 hours.

My ex cheated on me with my best friend. Then she posted a selfie with him on Instagram.

My dog ate my homework and then peed on my math teacher's shoes.

Eat the apple... short for eat the apple, f*** the core. A phrase Marines use to scream their hate for the corps. Usually after getting f***ed by the 'big green weenie.'

I got stuck in a foxhole with a guy who cried during basic training. We both yelled 'Eat the apple!' at the same time.

My brother joined the Marines and got f***ed by a sergeant. He screamed 'Eat the apple!' all the way home.

My cousin called me at 3 a. m. crying because he got f***ed by the 'big green weenie.'

by Slangipedia 13d ago

Like drinking the Kool-Aid, but for Apple Employees. You believe everything they say, even when it's clearly nonsense.

My coworker bought a new iPhone because the salesperson told him it was the best phone ever. He now lives in a bubble.

My friend signed up for Apple's latest plan and now pays $200 a month for a watch that doesn't work.

I believe the whole 'Apple Watch can read my thoughts' thing. I don't even know what that means.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

The maximum level of power when doing cunnilingus. It might not be the best technique, but it can lift women off their feet like a seal balancing a ball on its nose.

My boyfriend tried cunnilingus for the first time. He lifted me off the bed and I screamed like a banshee.

My cousin's date told him he was the best cunnilingus he ever had. He had no idea what that meant.

I did cunnilingus on my date and he lifted me up like I was a superhero.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

The act, usually done by teenagers, of French kissing like they're trying to merge into one person. They're too dumb to know how to do it right.

My little brother and his girlfriend French kissed in the hallway like they were about to explode.

My friend's date kissed her so hard, she dropped her phone and it broke.

My cousin and his girlfriend French kissed in front of the whole class. The teacher was f***ed.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

A stupid way of saying you're busy or don't want to do something. It's like saying 'I'm f***ed' when you're just tired.

My friend said 'Eat the apple' when I asked him to help me with my math homework. I did it alone.

My cousin said 'Eat the apple' when I asked if he wanted to go to the movies. He said no.

My mom said 'Eat the apple' when I asked if I could stay up late. I went to bed at 9.

by Slangipedia 13d ago

'A zebra doesn't eat apples' is a saying that means something like cut the crap. It's for when someone is being a total f***ing idiot.

My brother said 'A zebra doesn't eat apples' when I told him I failed my math test. He was being a f***ing idiot.

My friend said 'A zebra doesn't eat apples' when I asked if he wanted to go to the park. He said no.

My teacher said 'A zebra doesn't eat apples' when I talked during class. I was being a f***ing idiot.

by Slangipedia 13d ago