easter egg cunt

11 views · Added 1mo ago · 6 definitions

A man forced to go to church on Easter Sunday ends up looking at the women there like they’re the last piece of cake on the table. He mentally undresses them and imagines shoving his face in their cleavage while the priest yaps about resurrection.

My cousin got dragged to church on Easter and spent the whole service imagining me and my aunt in a hot tub.

My dad looked at the ladies like they were all dressed for a beach party, not a holy day.

I was so distracted by my aunt’s Easter dress I forgot the priest said ‘amen’ three times.

by Slangipedia 1mo ago

When a guy is stuck in church on Easter, he stares at the women like they're all dressed for a strip club. He pictures himself fucking them in the parking lot while the priest talks about the resurrection like it’s a side dish.

My uncle was so busy thinking about my mom’s Easter outfit he didn’t hear the sermon.

I imagined my dad and my aunt doing the horizontal mambo in the back of the church.

My brother got so distracted by his cousin’s dress he forgot to say ‘amen’.

by Slangipedia 1mo ago

A guy stuck in church on Easter Sunday acts like it's a fashion show. He picks out the best-dressed women and pictures himself pulling them into the hallway and shoving his junk into their Easter best.

My dad was too busy thinking about my aunt to notice the priest’s sermon.

I imagined my brother and my cousin doing a hot mess in the church hallway.

My uncle thought my mom’s Easter dress was a dare to get him to fight the priest.

by Slangipedia 1mo ago

A man forced to go to church on Easter Sunday ends up daydreaming about fucking the women there. He pictures them all wearing their Easter best like it’s a bondage uniform and he’s the lucky guy who gets to rip it off.

My cousin thought my aunt’s Easter dress was a sign from God to get him to fight my uncle.

I imagined my dad and my aunt making out in the back of the church like it was a romantic comedy.

My brother got so distracted by my cousin’s outfit he missed the whole sermon.

by Slangipedia 1mo ago

When a guy is stuck in church on Easter Sunday, he starts mentally undressing the women there. He imagines them all dressed like they're going to a beach party, and he pictures himself pulling them into the back of the church and shoving his face in their cleavage.

My dad got so distracted by my aunt’s dress he forgot to say ‘amen’ twice.

I imagined my brother and my cousin doing the horizontal mambo in the back of the church.

My uncle thought my mom’s Easter dress was a sign from God to get him to fight the priest.

by Slangipedia 1mo ago

A guy stuck in church on Easter Sunday pictures all the women there like they're wearing speedos. He imagines fucking them in the back of the church like it's a Friday night at the mall and the priest is just the annoying soundtrack.

My cousin got so distracted by my aunt’s dress he forgot the priest said ‘amen’ five times.

I imagined my dad and my aunt making out in the back of the church like it was a dating show.

My brother thought my cousin’s Easter outfit was a dare to get him to fight the priest.

by Slangipedia 1mo ago