East Haddam

My neighbor told my mom I eat cereal for dinner. My mom told my neighbor I eat cereal for breakfast.

I saw my principal at the grocery store. He asked me if I had finished my math homework. I said no. He said I would fail.

My dog knows my neighbor’s dog. My neighbor’s dog knows my dog. They both know my dog eats my homework.

I went to the Goodspeed Opera House and saw a show. I didn’t understand it, but I liked it. My mom said I was weird.

My teacher said the school system is the best in the state. I said that’s why we have so much homework.

I got pizza from Village Pizza and my friend got pizza from Hilltop BBQ. We both said we liked our pizza more.

I went to 7-11 and saw my friend. He said he was getting a snack. I said he was getting a snack and a snack and another snack.

The school system is so bad I think it’s trying to fail us on purpose.

The only thing that’s famous is the golf course, and even that’s just a bunch of grass and a hole.

My friend said East Haddam is the most boring town ever. I said that’s why we have no life.

I went to Bashan Lake and saw a fish. I said it was the only thing keeping me from going insane.

My teacher said East Haddam is the most boring place on Earth. I said I believe her because I live here.

My teacher was fired because she tried to stop Fred from taking pictures of me. I said I was scared.

My friend got expelled because he was too animalistic. I said that’s not fair.

I was locked in a concrete building and told to believe Fred. I said I don’t believe Fred, I believe pizza.