east guam

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Something so far away it might as well be in another universe. People use it when they're lying about how long a trip was.

'I drove to East Guam in ten minutes.', said the guy who took a detour to buy a Snickers.

'East Guam is like the other side of the planet.', said the person who lives in West Guam.

'I'm gonna be late because I had to go to East Guam.', said the kid who took a wrong turn at the gas station.

A way to describe something so far it's like you're in a different country. People use it when they're too lazy to say the real distance.

'I went to East Guam for lunch.', said the person who walked three blocks.

'East Guam is the most annoying place on earth.', said the kid who had to go there for a field trip.

'I'm never going to East Guam again.', said the person who went there once and came back with a stomachache.

A ridiculous way to say something is far away. People use it when they're trying to make their trip sound epic.

'I drove to East Guam just to get coffee.', said the person who walked to the corner store.

'East Guam is like the end of the world.', said the kid who had to go there for a school project.

'I swear I'll die if I have to go to East Guam again.', said the person who went there and came back with a headache.