east coast

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1
If you haven’t been to the East Coast, shut up. It’s got the biggest city in the country, New York City. The healthiest people live in New England. Philly, DC, and Boston are full of history. Connecticut is loaded. New York and Florida are packed with people. The beaches on the East Coast are insane, New Jersey, Florida, the Carolinas, and Rhode Island are all beach heaven.
You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve been to the East Coast, and you haven’t.
New York is the best city in the world, and you’re still in California.
I’ve been to Philly, and it’s way better than anywhere you’ve ever been.
2
The East Coast is the total opposite of the West Coast. It’s got cities like New York and Boston that are tiny, packed, and full of culture. It’s got seasons, and some parts have the lowest crime rate in the country. Other parts? Total trash. The West Coast can’t even compare.
West Coast? Please. They have sand and sun. We have culture and crime.
You think you’re cool because you’re on the West Coast? We have seasons and culture.
You live in California and think it’s the best? The East Coast has more culture than your entire state.
3
The East Coast is the best part of the U. S. It’s where jazz, punk, and hip-hop started. The best architects are here. The best opera is here. The movie industry started here. The West Coast is just fake-tanned, anorexic, rich kids with no ideas.
You think you’re cool because you’re on the West Coast? We invented music, culture, and movies.
The West Coast is just a bunch of rich kids with fake tans and no brains.
We had the Met, the Symphony, and CBGB. You had a beach and a tan.
4
The East Coast runs from Maine to Florida. It’s got some of the best schools in the country. It’s packed with history. It’s got socialists running everything. It’s hot, smoky, and not fun to walk in the summer.
You think you’re smart because you’re on the East Coast? We have history, schools, and socialism.
It’s hot, smoky, and everyone’s a socialist. You would hate it.
You’re from the West Coast? We’ve got history and smog. You’ve got sun and sand.
5
The East Coast is the part of the U. S. near the Atlantic Ocean. It’s got the best schools in the country, like the Ivy League. It’s got more educated people than the West Coast. The beaches here are way better than the West Coast’s beaches. The West Coast is just a bunch of fake tans and sand.
You think your beaches are the best? We have the best schools, the best beaches, and the best culture.
You live on the West Coast? We have education, beaches, and culture. You have sand and fake tans.
The East Coast has the best of everything. You just have a tan and a beach.
6
If you haven’t seen every state on the East Coast, shut up. We stretch from Maine to Florida. We have Boston, New York, Philly, Atlanta, Miami, and Orlando. We’ve got smart New Englanders, rich New Yorkers, tough New Jersey, crunked Atlanta, and hot Miami. You’re from the West Coast? You’re either a fake-tanned, Hollister-loving whore, a gay roller-skater, a ignorant retard, or a total weirdo.
You think you’re better than us? You live on the West Coast, and you only have California, Oregon, and Washington. We’ve got everything.
If you haven’t been to the East Coast, you don’t get to talk about it. We’ve got the best of everything.
You’re a plastic, fake-tanned, Hollister-loving, hollister-loving, fake-tanned, whore. You don’t get to talk about the East Coast.
xs