earvin
A guy who can turn into any other word in a sentence just to make it sound cooler. He's like a walking synonym dictionary with a bad attitude.
Earvin turned 'I like pizza' into 'I absolutely adore the sacred circle of cheese and dough.'
He said 'I went to the store' like it was a mission from God.
He changed 'I'm tired' into 'I'm a god-forsaken zombie.'