Earplugger

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A hot woman who sounds like a truck tire blew out the second she talks. Everyone in the room instantly wants to punch her for it.

My cousin dated an Earplugger. She looked like a model but sounded like a goat with a throat infection.

I asked her out. She said yes. Then I heard her talk. I ran.

She walked in. I was hooked. Then she said 'y’all.' I left.

A woman so pretty, you’d marry her if she didn’t sound like a man who got hit by a train and then yelled at a chicken.

She was the best-looking girl in the class. Then she said 'biscuits.' I died.

I asked her to prom. She said yes. Then she talked. I cried.

She walked in like a queen. Then she said 'aw, shucks.' I wanted to scream.

A beautiful woman who sounds like a drunk raccoon who just woke up and got yelled at by a bagel.

She was my dream girl. Then she said 'y’all.' I had to go to the bathroom and puke.

She was perfect. Then she said 'aw, shucks.' I walked out.

She had the face of an angel. Then she talked. I became a monster.