early morning shit - That poop you take so early it’s like you’re trying to ruin

That poop you take so early it’s like you’re trying to ruin your day before it even starts. Your boss might think you’re cursed.

I had to go so bad I ran to the bathroom like I was running from the devil. My boss looked confused.

I took a dump so fast I forgot to wipe. My boss walked in and saw a mess like I had a war in there.

I had to go so bad I missed my first meeting. My boss said, 'You’re already in trouble before the day even started!'