Earlen

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A truck driver who thinks he's the best at everything and yells at anyone who disagrees. He’s like a dog who won’t stop barking at the mailman.

"I didn’t miss the exit. The exit missed me!", Mr. Earlen, 3 AM on the highway

"You think you're the best? I've driven through three tornadoes and still didn't get lost!", Earlen, to a cop who just gave him a ticket

"I didn’t crash. The road just hated me.", Earlen, after his truck turned into a taco."

A woman so hot, she could make a zombie blush. She smiles when the world is falling apart and somehow makes you feel like everything’s gonna be okay.

"I walked into a bar and the whole place went silent. Then the bartender said, 'We’ve been waiting for you.'", Earlene, 2nd date

"I broke my phone. Then I looked at her and forgot I had a phone.", A guy who fell for her

"She walked in, and I thought the universe had just upgraded.", A man who got dumped for her."

A goddess who walks among us, but she also knows how to cuss and has a talent for making men feel like they just got dumped by a saint.

"I asked her for help with my math homework. She solved it in 10 seconds, then asked me if I knew what I was doing.", A kid who failed math

"She knew the answer to my life’s biggest question before I even asked it.", A man who just realized he was wrong

"I fell in love with her when she said, 'You're not bad. You're just not me.'", A man who got dumped by her."