Earlashes
The tiny hairs that pop out of old guys' ears like they're trying to escape a prison break and they're all covered in ear wax and bad decisions.
'Dad, why do your ears look like a hairball factory?'
'Why do you talk to me like I'm a kid?'
'Because I'm still trying to figure out why I have earlashes.'
'My uncle's earlashes are so long, they're almost like a beard. But it's not cute. It's creepy.'
'My grandpa's earlashes are like little rats crawling out of his ears. I swear they're plotting against me.'