ear penis
A guy who wears a giant Bluetooth earpiece like it’s a fashion accessory, even when he’s just eating cereal and watching cartoons.
"He wears his ear penis to the grocery store, just so he can talk to his mom while buying bread."
"My uncle’s ear penis is so big, it looks like a giant Bluetooth headset from the 90s."
"She wears her ear penis to the gym, even though no one is calling her."