ear penis

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A tiny phone speaker you jam in your ear like a smelly sock, just so you can yell at people without looking like a fool.

"I can't hear you, I'm wearing my ear penis and my headphones are broken."

"He had his ear penis on during the entire meeting, even though no one was talking."

"My ear penis is louder than my ex-wife's screaming."

A smelly finger adventure where you shove your wet finger into someone's ear like it's a mini hot dog stand.

"He gave me a wet willy and then called it an ear penis."

"She did the ear penis to me in the middle of math class."

"I got the ear penis from my brother, and it was worse than a surprise pop quiz."

A guy who wears a giant Bluetooth earpiece like it’s a fashion accessory, even when he’s just eating cereal and watching cartoons.

"He wears his ear penis to the grocery store, just so he can talk to his mom while buying bread."

"My uncle’s ear penis is so big, it looks like a giant Bluetooth headset from the 90s."

"She wears her ear penis to the gym, even though no one is calling her."