Eagle Rock

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1
Eagle Rock is a fancy little piece of L. A. where artists live, tacos are good, and houses look like they were built by rich people who never heard of the word ‘cheap.’
I moved to Eagle Rock because I thought it was a paradise. Turns out it’s just a place where my rent got more expensive.
My art teacher lives in Eagle Rock. She paints. I paint. But I also eat tacos.
I went to Eagle Rock for the weekend. I came back with a stomachache and a new appreciation for expensive landscaping.
2
Eagle Rock is like a tiny town that used to be cool until a bunch of hipster douches and rich kids who think they’re famous ruined it.
I used to love Eagle Rock. Then I saw a guy in a bike shirt riding past me like he owned the place.
My cousin moved to Eagle Rock and now he’s a ‘biker artist’ who thinks he’s Banksy.
Eagle Rock used to be nice. Now it’s just a place where rich kids try to act like they’re not rich.
3
Eagle Rock is a town where a college exists, but it’s not a dental school, and it’s surrounded by wild animals and bad neighborhoods.
Occidental College is in Eagle Rock. It’s not a dental school. It’s just a place where people think they’re smart.
I walked past a raccoon in Eagle Rock. That’s not normal. That’s a sign of the apocalypse.
Eagle Rock has a rock that looks like an eagle’s head. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
4
Eagle Rock is a town with too many different kinds of people and not enough good parts. It’s like a giant taco that’s half delicious and half garbage.
If you live below Eagle Rock Blvd., you’re probably in the worst part of the town. That’s just a fact.
Eagle Rock is 50% Philipino, 30% Mexican, and the rest are people who probably don’t know what they’re doing.
Eagle Rock is like a taco truck that serves the best food but is also falling apart.
5
Eagle Rock is a place where everyone is high, everyone knows everyone, and after the party, everyone goes to Leo’s for tacos and gets drunk.
I live in Eagle Rock. That means I see druggies every day. It’s like my job.
My friend’s from Eagle Rock. He says everyone knows each other. I believe him. I know him.
After every party in Eagle Rock, we all go to Leo’s. That’s not a choice. That’s a rule.
6
Eagle Rock is where the phrase ‘giving someone the finger’ started, and it’s coming back because rich people are ruining it.
My uncle gave someone the finger in Eagle Rock. He said it was a declaration of war.
The phrase ‘giving someone the finger’ started in Eagle Rock. It was a gang thing. Now it’s just a rich kid thing.
Eagle Rock used to be cool. Now it’s just a place where thirty-somethings think they’re famous.
7
Eagle Rock is a school where everyone says the N-word, everyone says they have a boyfriend, and the whole place smells like bad decisions.
My school is in Eagle Rock. Everyone says the N-word. I say it too. We’re all just lazy.
I went to Eagle Rock High. Everyone says they have a boyfriend. I don’t. I just say that to be cool.
Eagle Rock smells like fast food, bad decisions, and the N-word.
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