Bro: Why did you miss my call? Me: I was busy. Bro: Busy? You were busy? I was crying in a bathroom for 2 hours.

Mom: You didn’t text me back. Me: I was dead. Mom: You’re 16. You can’t be dead.

Friend: Why did you leave the group chat? Me: You all turned into trolls. Friend: We’re just being funny. Me: Funny? I got a papercut from laughing.