E-tool - The E-tool is a collapsible piece of crap that soldiers use

The E-tool is a collapsible piece of crap that soldiers use to dig holes so fast they can beat their enemies to the punch.

I used my E-tool to dig a hole and then I hid from the enemy. They had no idea what hit them.

I tried to dig with my hands, and my E-tool made it look like I was actually trying.

My E-tool is more useful than my girlfriend during a camping trip.