e-Tip
When you’re so drunk you can’t walk straight, but you still feel like sending a message to everyone you’ve ever known, especially your ex who broke your heart and your mom who still thinks you’re a good kid.
I sent my ex a text that said, 'I miss you, but I also want to punch you in the face.'
I DM’d my mom and said, 'I love you, but I also want to eat you.'
I emailed my boss and said, 'I’m not coming in today because I’m dead, and I’m also alive.'