E. Hawtreys
A Facebook user who fakes being smart about football but thinks goalposts are cheese and still thinks the Packers are relevant. Their family tree is so boring it could put people to sleep.
"The Packers are still the best team ever! I’ve never lost to them!" (He’s never played a game.)
Posts a fake interview with a cheese mascot.
Says his grandfather is the only one who knows the truth about goalposts.