E-handjob
when someone online acts like they're giving you a hand job through a screen, but it's just them talking too much and pretending they care.
'I'm gonna give you the best hand job of your life, right here, right now, through the internet.'
'You're gonna feel my love in your soul, through the screen, like it's real.'
'I'm giving you a hand job so good, you'll forget your own name.'