My cousin got an e-blast from his dating app. It said, ‘You’re the best match ever! Let’s get wild.’ He then texted me, ‘I just got a boner like a dragon.’

My friend got an e-blast from his ex. It said, ‘Miss you like a pizza with extra cheese.’ He replied, ‘I miss you like I need a drink after a long day.’

I got an e-blast from my crush. It said, ‘You’re the best. Let’s hang out.’ I then texted him, ‘I’m about to explode.’