e-binky

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a fancy toy for lazy people who can't handle life without constant distraction or a good curse word to keep them going

My e-binky is the only thing keeping me from screaming into the void

I used my e-binky to text my mom and tell her I was fine

I looked up 'how to not die' on my e-binky because my brain was broken

a glorified piece of plastic that lets you pretend you're important even when you're just sad and angry

I texted my ex and called them a dumbass using my e-binky

My e-binky is my only friend when I'm crying in the bathroom

I looked up 'how to be cool' on my e-binky and it said 'don't be stupid'

a handheld device that turns your brain into a mess of confusion and swearing whenever you're bored or mad

I used my e-binky to tweet my teacher and call them a flaming idiot

My e-binky saved me from yelling at my brother

I looked up 'how to survive the day' and it said 'don't let anyone touch you'

a tiny computer that you hold like a weapon when life gives you nothing but stress and bad decisions

I used my e-binky to text my friend and say I was dying

My e-binky is the only thing that makes my brain stop yelling

I looked up 'how to be awesome' and it said 'don't be a tool'

a handheld device that makes you feel like a king when you're really just a confused mess of bad choices and bad vibes

I texted my dad and called him a moron using my e-binky

My e-binky made me feel like I could take on the world

I looked up 'how to be cool' and it said 'don't be a fool'

a tiny computer that you use to escape your problems or yell at them in the middle of the night when no one can hear you

I used my e-binky to tweet my boss and call them a flaming disaster

I escaped my life using my e-binky and pretended I was somewhere else

I looked up 'how to survive the day' and it said 'don't be a pain in the ass'