D.V. Guarantee
A guarantee from Dan Van the Man that he'll do something, or else he'll scream and throw things at you.
He said he'd pay my rent. He paid my rent. He paid it with a sock. And he screamed the whole time.
He said he'd get me a car. I got a car. It was a broken-down car. And he threw a shoe at me.
He said he'd get me a date. I got a date. It was with his dog. And he screamed, 'I told you it was a dog!'