daemian

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3 views · Added 17d ago · 3 definitions

1
The most attractive guy who acts like a brain-dead donkey. He can charm the pants off anyone but can't remember his own phone number. His girlfriend is a saint who puts up with his nonsense.
He texted me, 'You’re the best I ever had.' Then he forgot to call me back.
He asked my girlfriend out, then said he was 'just being friendly.'
He told me he’d marry me if I gave him a goldfish. I did. He left it in a shoe.
2
A hot guy who talks like a smooth criminal but can't spell 'asshole.' He's got the looks and the lies, but his brain is stuck in the 1980s.
He told me he was ‘a master of seduction’ then forgot my name 10 minutes later.
He proposed to my sister with a pizza. She said yes. He said, 'I’m not sorry.'
He texted me, 'I’m the king of hearts.' Then he asked me for a coupon.
3
A guy who looks like a superhero but thinks 'honey' is a type of sandwich. He talks sweet but acts like a donkey when he’s drunk.
He told me he would ‘never leave me’ then left me for a chicken sandwich.
He sent me a love note. It said, 'I love you. Also, I want fries.'
He called me at 3 a. m. to say he was ‘heartbroken’ because his chicken sandwich was cold.
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