dadrienne
A dadrienne is a human who thinks they’re the main character of everyone’s story. They’ll do anything to feel special, even if it means your face gets stuck in a sandwich.
My dadrienne got stuck in a sub sandwich. She said it was a sign we were meant to be. I said it was a sign she needed help.
She tried to serenade me with a kazoo. Said it was love. I said it was torture.
She sent me a 10-page letter about how we were soulmates. I read it. Then I cried.