Dadfish
A guy who’s too afraid to admit he has kids, like he’s hiding a monster in his closet that eats homework and lies.
'I don’t have any kids, I swear!', right after I told him my kid’s name was Jake.
'I’m not a dadfish, I’m a daddragon!', when he got caught with my kid’s report card in his hand.
'I’m not even a dad, I’m a dadghost!', when he vanished after I told him I had three kids from three different exes.