Dadfish

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A dad who lies about not having kids when he's trying to get laid, like he's hiding a secret that smells like old pizza and regret.

'I don't have any kids, I swear!', 2 seconds after I told him I had a kid from a previous relationship.

'I’m just here for the snacks.', 5 minutes into the date when I mentioned my kid’s name.

'I’m not a dadfish, I’m a dadshark!', when he got caught with a kid photo in his phone.

A man who says he’s single, but he’s actually married to his kids and his exes, and he’s too lazy to tell anyone.

'I’m just here for the pizza.', when I told him I had three kids from three different exes.

'I’m not a dadfish, I’m a dadworm!', when he got caught eating pizza with my kid.

'I’m not even a dad, I’m a dadghost!', when he disappeared after I told him I had a kid from a previous relationship.

A guy who’s too afraid to admit he has kids, like he’s hiding a monster in his closet that eats homework and lies.

'I don’t have any kids, I swear!', right after I told him my kid’s name was Jake.

'I’m not a dadfish, I’m a daddragon!', when he got caught with my kid’s report card in his hand.

'I’m not even a dad, I’m a dadghost!', when he vanished after I told him I had three kids from three different exes.