dadfin

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when two fathers go at it like they're both trying to be the main man

Dad1: 'You think you're the king? I've had 30 years of being the main man.' Dad2: 'You're still just a sidekick.'

Dad1: 'I took your job. I took your wife. I took your dignity.' Dad2: 'You took my lunch break.'

Dad1: 'I'm the dad. You're the dad. We're both the dad. Now let's fight.'

when two guys who act like they're the only dad in the room try to prove they're the real dad

Dad1: 'You're not the dad. You're just the guy who shows up at the end.' Dad2: 'You're the guy who shows up at the end. I'm the dad.'

Dad1: 'I named the kid. You just showed up with a hat.' Dad2: 'You showed up with a hat. I named the kid.'

Dad1: 'I'm the dad. You're just the guy who takes the kid to the park.' Dad2: 'You take the kid to the park. I'm the dad.'

when two fathers get so mad they start fighting over who gets to be the dad

Dad1: 'I'm the dad. I'm the one who's been there since the beginning.' Dad2: 'You were there since the beginning. I was there since the middle.'

Dad1: 'I'm the dad. I'm the one who pays the bills.' Dad2: 'You pay the bills. I pay the fines.'

Dad1: 'I'm the dad. I'm the one who's always right.' Dad2: 'You're always right. I'm the dad.'