DaddyDoesDoggie

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##DadLife##AnimalHorror##FarmFail

9 views · Added 17d ago · 6 definitions

1
When your dad is too lazy to get a date and just goes for the nearest farm animal. It’s been going on for centuries because men are cheap and animals don’t complain.
My dad tried to seduce the goat. The goat just stared. My mom cried.
He called the cow ‘baby’ and it mooed at him. That’s not a good sign.
He took the pig to the park. The pig ran away. He’s now on the pig’s LinkedIn.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
2
Your dad’s favorite hobby is making animals pregnant. It’s been around since the Middle Ages because people were too busy fighting to notice.
He told the horse it was ‘getting married’ and now it’s got a bun in the oven.
He tried to ‘chat up’ the chicken. It clucked and left him in the dust.
He took the cow to the bar. The cow just kept mooing. It’s a long story.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
3
When your dad thinks he’s the best lover in the whole world, until he tries to make a sheep happy and it just walks away.
He told the sheep he was ‘the man’ and it just walked off into the sunset. He cried.
He tried to ‘flirt’ with the pig. It snorted and ran. He got a black eye.
He took the goat on a date. The goat just ate the whole thing.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
4
A dad who thinks he’s a rockstar, but the only one who’s impressed is the cow. It’s been going on for ages because men are too proud to admit they’re wrong.
He told the cow he was ‘the king of the farm.’ The cow just blinked and walked away.
He tried to sing to the goat. It stared. He got a standing ovation from the chickens.
He took the pig to the concert. The pig just ate the drumsticks.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
5
Your dad thinks he’s a legend, but the only one who believes it is the cow. This tradition started because men didn’t know how to handle rejection.
He called the cow ‘the queen of the farm’ and now it’s just mooing at him.
He tried to do a dance with the pig. It just ran. He’s now on the pig’s Instagram.
He told the sheep he was the ‘best dad ever.’ The sheep just stared. He cried.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
6
When your dad is too proud to ask for a date and just goes for the nearest animal. It’s been around for centuries because men are too lazy to work for love.
He tried to seduce the chicken. It just clucked and left him.
He took the pig to the prom. The pig just ate the cake.
He told the goat he was ‘the best lover.’ The goat just stared. He got a black eye.
by Slangipedia 17d ago
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