Daddy Sanchez

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A guy who claims to be Mexican and acts like he's your dad. His mustache looks like he shaved his pubes with a rusty knife.

Daddy Sanchez just walked in like he owns the place. He even smells like old tacos and regret.

He called me 'mijo' and then asked for my lunch money. Classic.

He tried to teach me how to dance, but it looked like he was having a seizure.

A fake Mexican dad who shows up at school events and talks like he's from the 80s. His mustache is so bad, it has its own Instagram.

He showed up at my science fair wearing a neon shirt and said, 'You're going to fail, mijo.'

He tried to give me a hug, but it felt like he was trying to steal my soul.

He asked me if I wanted to eat nachos, but they were just stale chips and hope.

A guy who thinks he's Mexican and acts like he's your dad. His mustache is so bad, it could start a war.

He showed up to my birthday party and yelled, 'You're gonna be rich, mijo!' Then he stole my cake.

He tried to teach me how to ride a bike, but he fell and cursed in Spanish.

He asked me if I wanted to be his son, but I said no, and he threw a taco at me.