My stepdad asked me if I wanted to go to the mall. I said no. He said, 'You sure? I got a coupon.' I said, 'You're not cool.'

My dad said he'd take me to the concert if I let him 'be my dad for a day.' I said, 'You're not even my dad.'

My fake dad tried to give me a hug. I said, 'You're not my dad. You're just my dad's friend.'