Daddy Kiss

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2 views · Added 15d ago · 3 definitions

1
A daddy kiss is when a smelly, mustachioed woman with the face of a raccoon slaps her lips on yours like she’s been waiting 20 years to do it.
My mom gave me a daddy kiss after I told her I got a job at a pizza place.
He got a daddy kiss from his ex at the grocery store. She still smelled like 1998.
My uncle got a daddy kiss from his girlfriend’s mom. He’s still sore.
2
A daddy kiss is when a drunk, hairy man with the breath of a sewer rat leans in and gives you a kiss that tastes like regret and cheap whiskey.
I got a daddy kiss from my dad at the bar. It felt like I’d been kissed by a dead goat.
My brother got a daddy kiss from his girlfriend’s dad. He said it was like being kissed by a wet sock.
My cousin got a daddy kiss from his uncle. Now he won’t eat pizza for a week.
3
A daddy kiss is when a man with the face of a used napkin and the voice of a dying cat gives you a kiss that feels like a punishment from God.
My dad gave me a daddy kiss after I failed math. It was like being kissed by a ghost.
My uncle got a daddy kiss from his brother. He said it was like being kissed by a monster.
My friend got a daddy kiss from his dad. He cried like a baby.
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