Daddy Dulay
A dad who thinks being a maths teacher means he can poke you with a ruler and call it a lesson. He'll show you a triangle and you'll get a triangle in the face.
He poked me with a ruler and said it was a lesson in angles.
He drew a triangle on my forehead and called it a hypotenuse.
I got a C on the test. He said it was because I didn't learn my lessons... or my face."