He tried to ask a girl out and said, 'I’ve got a plan, a dream, and a toaster that’s ready to work for me.' She said, 'I’ve got a plan, a dream, and a toaster that’s ready to laugh at me.'

He sent a text: 'Hey, I’ve got a story about my dad, and I’m not even sure he’s still alive.' She replied: 'I’ve got a story about your dad, and I’m sure he’s still dead.'

He walked into a bar and said, 'I’m not here for the drinks, I’m here for the conversation.' The bartender said, 'I’m not here for the conversation, I’m here for the drinks.'