Dad with no rizz

He tried to chat up a waitress and said, 'I’m not here for the food, I’m here for the vibes.' She gave him a look like he’d just asked her to be his grandma.

He sent a DM to a girl: 'Hey, I’ve got a story about my dog that’s better than your life.' She replied: 'No thanks, I’ve got a story about your dog that’s worse than your life.'

At the grocery store, he said, 'I’m not just buying milk, I’m buying the chance to be cool.' The cashier rolled her eyes and gave him a discount.

He tried to ask a girl out and said, 'I’ve got a plan, a dream, and a toaster that’s ready to work for me.' She said, 'I’ve got a plan, a dream, and a toaster that’s ready to laugh at me.'

He sent a text: 'Hey, I’ve got a story about my dad, and I’m not even sure he’s still alive.' She replied: 'I’ve got a story about your dad, and I’m sure he’s still dead.'

He walked into a bar and said, 'I’m not here for the drinks, I’m here for the conversation.' The bartender said, 'I’m not here for the conversation, I’m here for the drinks.'