Dad Game

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 4 definitions

1
The kind of game your dad plays when he’s too old to remember how to use a toilet, but still thinks he’s the best at everything. It’s full of explosions, screaming, and people dying in slow motion.
My dad plays XCom like it's a war and he's the general. He yells at the computer like it wronged him.
He plays Mordhau like it's a sword fight and he's the guy who took down a dragon.
He plays Arma like he's in the military again, but he forgot how to aim.
2
The kind of game your dad plays while he’s eating a sandwich and still manages to win. It’s like he’s got a secret power from his time in the army.
He plays military sim games like he’s fighting in a war, but he’s also eating a sandwich and still wins.
He plays these games like it's his job, but he’s also watching TV and still beats me.
He plays these games like he’s got a whole army inside his head, and it's all working together.
3
A game that smells like old pizza and regret. It’s the kind of game that no one wants to play, but your dad thinks it’s the best thing ever.
He plays these games like it's his life, but it's just a game and he still loses.
He plays these games like he's the best at everything, but he still loses to me.
He plays these games like it's his job, but he's just playing them because he has no life.
4
The best player in the whole world. He doesn’t just play games, he owns them. He’s like a god in the game world, and he never loses.
He plays like he’s got a god on his side, and he never loses.
He’s the best Reinhardt in the world and he never loses, even when he’s tired.
He’s like Rank 1 Olaf, and he’s Tyler1’s idol, and he never loses.
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