Dad Bants
The only kind of conversation that makes sense to a dad and makes no sense to the rest of the world.
Dad: 'You failed math.' Kid: 'I failed math because you're a terrible teacher.' Dad: 'I'm not a terrible teacher. I'm a great teacher. You're just a terrible student.'
Kid: 'I'm going to college.' Dad: 'You're going to fail.' Kid: 'You're going to fail at failing.'
Dad: 'You're gonna be poor.' Kid: 'You're poor.' Dad: 'At least I'm not a failure.' Kid: 'You’re both a failure and poor.'